Mondays.

Awakening

      I love Mondays. I love fresh starts and new beginnings. Yesterday a friend asked for the link to my blog. I write this for me. It has been very cool to see people all over the world read it. In the end this is my therapy. I realized after I sent the link that I had not touched it in months so I cleaned it up a bit and wrote something new. In the process I read the entire blog from start to finish and then went to sleep. I woke up feeling refreshed and alive! I realized that as difficult as the past two months have been I am only making it more difficult for myself by playing pretend. I am not a sales woman. I do not enjoy the game. 

     Sometimes the best thing in life we can do for ourselves is to acknowledge what we are not!  I can sell. I can lead. I can make a living doing what I am doing. I am cheating my heart by continuing to do this.

     I am a counselor. Long before college and degrees and training I was always the counselor, the caretaker, the one everyone turned to for advice. This is what made my heart happy. This is what I must do again. So today I make a promise to myself. Today I will begin the journey back into counseling and running support groups. I will even begin to figure out a way to go back and finish my masters degree so that I can continue my journey. Today I will be me. What better week to make a life decision. My birthday is this week and I believe birthdays are a start of the new year. I do not make resolutions on New Years Eve. I make them on my day. Birthday resolutions are purposeful, meaningful, private and a birthday is a reminder that life is about changing and growing. What will you do this year? Life is short. Make your years count for something good. 

Hibernation

Baby it's Cold Outside 

     I love being outside. Fall is my favorite time of year in Pennsylvania. I am and always will be a water girl. Summers in Maryland revive me. The beach will be my home in a few years.  Maybe it is my Aquarius sign or being raised with a pool as a summertime babysitter, but water calms me. Still, I find that no matter what the weather I prefer to be outside and feel happiest when I have fresh air and sunshine. That is until my hometown was transplanted to Siberia! I know it is winter and I know it should be cold, but this last month has been down right ridiculous. My trusty little weather App tells me it is currently 7° Out and feels like -3°! 

     I go to work. I come home. I hibernate. I am pretty sure I have gained 20 lbs in one month. Yes, I know the gym is indoors and perfectly accessible but I swear my desire to get healthy is directly related to sunshine! Therefore my hibernation has caused a severe lack of motivation. It does not hurt that I am bundled under 7 layers most days so who can tell if I gained a few pounds!  As I type this curiosity got the best of me and I stepped cautiously on the scale. Officially I have only gained 12 lbs since Thanksgiving. This is my official start of the holiday season and Mardi Gras my official end.  My body health on the other hand says something very different. I have even broke down and actually purchased insurance due to the steady decline in my health! I do not go to doctors. I rarely take medication. I believe in preventive maintenance. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. 

     I do have a child to think about. So off to the doctors I will go and figure out if this is just winter blahs affecting my general health or if I need to make some changes in life. Until then I will brave the cold get my growing backside into the gym and do a new juice cleanse. 

Cheers to green juice, green grass, blue sky's and warmer days ahead. 

-3° SMDH